in real time

I came back from HI late last night and I'm up early today. On the plane ride, so much of what has happened in my life flowed in and out of my heart. Like waves, I allowed myself to simply take in all these reflections, and to my surprise, even pull out all the hurts. I felt it all in the sky. Some gently left me. They were simple life lessons (many of which I've probably experienced before, but failed to completely learn, thus the pressing of repeat). Mostly, I listened..

I listened to what my heart was saying.
I replayed a request for distance and space
and began to truly understand what she needed from me.

Endings
are never quite what you want them to be,
no matter how much care you give to it.
They ache you in places you didn't know could hurt
they signal that something is changing
and it will change you,
forever.

Before leaving Hawaii I read something that crashed into me. Overtaken by the words at first, I felt out of breath. Once I let the words in, I realized like everything that's happened these paragraphs written by a fellow writer were meant for me to read. At that very moment. All these circumstances that I've been living, are not only moments of growth full of pain, but will exercise how big I can love. Forgive. Be Open. And despite the urge to fall and stay down, what ways I pick myself and all these pieces, back up.

Here now, there are important choices I have to make regarding how this change continues to happen. In the sky I leave my best intentions and hope the outcomes reflect these soft prayers. I have a full day ahead and a few more hours to spend with Joy and Wes before they leave back to 702. I wanted to begin this week writing here, back on the blue line.

I'll leave yesterday's Daily OM as a time stamp. Make today beautiful friend and thank you for reading me. We'll meet again soon...

m.



***
The Daily OM for August 31, 2009
Moving in Real Time
Fast-Forward Button

We all go through times when we wish we could press a fast-forward button and propel ourselves into the future and out of our current circumstances. Whether the situation we are facing is minor, or major such as the loss of a loved one, it is human nature to want to move away from pain and find comfort as soon as possible. Yet we all know deep down that we need to work through these experiences in a conscious fashion rather than bury our heads in the sand, because these are the times when we access important information about ourselves and life. The learning process may not be easy, but it is full of lessons that bring us wisdom we cannot find any other way.

The desire to press fast-forward can lead to escapism and denial, both of which only prolong our difficulties and in some cases make them worse. The more direct, clear, and courageous we are in the face of whatever we are dealing with, the more quickly we will move through the situation. Understanding this, we may begin to realize that trying to find the fast-forward button is really more akin to pressing pause. When we truly grasp that the only way out of any situation in which we find ourselves is to go through it, we stop looking for ways to escape and we start paying close attention to what is happening. We realize that we are exactly where we need to be. We remember that we are in this situation in order to learn something we need to know, and we can alleviate some of our pain with the awareness that there is a purpose to our suffering.

When you feel the urge to press the fast-forward button, remember that you are not alone; we all instinctively avoid pain. But in doing so, we often prolong our pain and delay important learning. As you choose to move forward in real time, know that in the long run, this is the least painful way to go.